Marital Mediation

Marital Mediation is a mediation process for couples who are experiencing marital problems or difficulties and who would prefer to stay together, and work through their issues in a constructive way.

Marital Mediation

What is Mediation  to Stay Married?

Mediation to Stay Married (also known as Marital Mediation) is a mediation process for couples who are experiencing marital problems or difficulties and who would prefer to stay together, work through their issues in a constructive way, who are willing to learn to resolve conflict and who wish to avoid divorce. Mediation to Stay Married is a practical, solution-oriented approach to conflict resolution in which the couple identifies, brainstorms, negotiate and problem-solve their own solutions to conflict.

How Does Mediation Work

How does Mediation to Stay Married work?

Mediation to Stay Married does not seek to delve deeply into the past or interpersonal, psychological issues of couples (or its individual members.) Through Mediation to Stay Married, the couple can develop concrete plans or modes of action that can be helpful to address their marital conflict and issues. The couple works with a trained mediator, who uses dispute resolution techniques to help define the issues and gain understanding, discover hidden interests and create options for breaking impasses and improving the couple’s conflict resolution and interpersonal communication skills. The mediator facilitates communication among the parties wherefore the parties can independently sets goals and objectives together for mutual implementation.

Difference between Mediation to Stay Married and Marital Counseling

What is the difference between Mediation to Stay Married and Marital Counseling?

Couples are encouraged to continue marital counseling and/ or independent counseling. Marital Mediation is not and can not take the place of counseling obtained from a mental health provider. Counseling is performed by a mental health professional and involves therapeutic analysis and insights.

Mediation to Save and Stay Married is a more practical approach to solving conflict that relies on dispute resolution techniques. The process or mediation is guided by a trained mediator however is created by the couple.  The mediation process helps them realize their own solutions to conflict.

Family Mediator

Why see a  Family Mediator

A mediator can help you understand what happens if you divorce. A divorce mediator can do reality testing with you, so you can make decisions in the best interest of your future and the future of your children. A mediator, by way of experience, professional and otherwise, understands what happens to couples who divorce. They understand what happens in litigated cases or when mediation is involved. Many times, however, couples say, “ we don’t know how we got here”. 

People often “jump the gun” when they are having marital problems. Their minds immediately go to the idea of divorce, because they see and know of no other option. Marital Mediation helps a couple understand the source of conflict and helps them envision a positive future.  The difference between a marriage that lasts and one that breaks down is generally the success of this learning process and willingness to devote time to learn and read about the skill of conflict resolution and communication.

Chantal Kur as your Marital Mediator – assists you with the platform to define your issues, get to the core of them, talk through them, and to find solutions.

Many marital problems (especially in more “mature” marriages) flow from financial disputes and insecurities. Mediators are often in a good position to analyze finances, understand legal options, and assist the couple in finding concrete solutions to financial problems. On occasion, it may be helpful to use an independent skilled financial professional to identify the source of conflict and offer neutral independent advice.

Utilising Mediation to Stay Married is not a choice of one method over another. Often, knowledge is gained by the couple’s efforts to understand the source of conflict while in marital therapy. A troubled couple should use all the resources available to overcome the conflict and keep a family together. If one or both of the parties suffer from depression, addiction, or other problems, individual counseling is a must. Couples can also get great help from marital counselors, and if they have not been helped by a series of marital counseling sessions at one point in their marriage, they may be helped the second (or third) time they try it. A martial mediator on the other hand, offers a practical approach to conflict resolution. The parties identify the current issues and in a guided mediation, brainstorm options for resolution, closure and ultimate agreement. Mediation to stay married teaches couples long term conflict resolution skills applicable for any conflict, in any situation, at any point in time.

Married wRITTEN agreement

Does Mediation to Stay Married result in a written agreement?

It is your choice if you wish to put your agreement in writing. Some couples would like a written understanding  of what they have agreed to in Mediation to Stay Married. This can be a template for them while going forward in their marriage. Some couples feel that the verbal understanding is enough and that a written agreement would be too intrusive. There is also the option of a full-blown agreement.

Family Mediator

Is it sometimes helpful for a married couple in trouble to  get information about divorce?

Think positive. The grass is not greener somewhere else. It may just be a different shade of green. To the extent that some people are completely unrealistic about divorce and what life after a divorce is like, yes, it may be beneficial to become educated about what divorce entails and what life is like after the divorce. I will be first to admit that some marriages must end and they are not worth saving. Where there is physical or emotional abuse in the home divorce is frequently warranted. Drug, alcohol abuse and gambling additions may make divorce (unfortunately) unavoidable.

Arbitration Foundation of South Africa
Divorce Mediations is proudly on the Panel of Mediators of the Arbitration Foundation of South Africa (AFSA).
South African Association of Mediators
Chantal Kur of Divorce Mediations is proudly an accredited Mediator with The South African Association of Mediators (SAAM).
Mediators Beyond Borders International
Chantal Kur is proudly a member and peace builder with Mediators Beyond Borders International
ADR International Register
Chantal Kur is a Certified International Mediator and as such is registered on the ADR International Register.

Still Have Questions?

Feel free to contact me to discuss the services we provide.

The Mediation Clinic

Got any questions? Any other problems the parties may have regarding divorce may also be discussed and resolved.

contact info

Mon-Thu:  9:30 – 21:00

Fri:  6:00 – 21:00
Sat:  10:00 – 15:00


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